Raaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwrrrrr!

OK, so maybe I don't pay enough attention to lampposts in my own town, but why isn't there more of this hilariousness in Melbourne?

Elmo deserved the hit

I'm a genius. A genius, I tell you.

Behold! My latest tshirt available for your Christmas needs!

We need an engineer!

Heheheheh.

@LevarBurton (Geordi LaForge from Star Trek TNG) offers help to @NASA.

via Neatorama

Biff Tannen - American Hero

Remember that documentary footage of Biff Tannen's rise to fame in Back to the Future Part II?
The one Marty watched on the steps of the casino?
No?
I don't care - BTTF.com have found a complete copy! Win!

The theory of Hipster relativity

via Dustinland

How to edit a magazine

To celebrate their 153rd birthday, the Atlantic have published their 12 point guide to editing a good magazine.

This list has been posted in their offices for the past 50 years:

1. When in doubt, let a manuscript go back.
2. Always remember that the fastidious element in the Atlantic audience is its permanent and valuable core.
3. Don't over-edit. You will often estrange an author by too elaborate a revision, and furthermore, take away from the magazine the variety of style that keeps it fresh.
4. Avoid mistakes of fact. If a paper is statistical, question the author closely.
5. The Atlantic has always been recognized as belonging to the Liberal wing. Be liberal, but be radical only as a challenge to be answered.
6. Be careful about expenses. Calculate the cost of each number. Remember that our margin is always narrow.
7. A sound editor never has a three-months' full supply in his cupboard. When you over-buy, you narrow your future choice.
8. Follow the news. Remember that timeliness means being on time, not before the time.
9. Interesting papers on conscience, personal religion, theory of living, are always precious. The Atlantic has three dimensions -- breadth of interest, height of interest, depth of interest. Individual personal philosophy always adds to the depth.
10. Keep all suggestions in the Black Book, so that they can be followed up.
11. Humor is precious and correspondingly hard to find. Most humor that reaches us is merely jocularity, and it is well to be jocular only when really funny.
12. Quick decisions -- except in poetry. Collect groups of verse and make a selection after several readings.

Victorian election 2010

DeLorean sneakers

2010 is fast becoming my favourite year. There has been soooooooo much awesome Back to the Future related awesomeness.

Like these Nike limited edition DeLorean sneakers. They feature soles that emulate the rear lights of the car, a metal stamped VIN code marker, aluminum coloured components and even a gull-wing door inspired packaging box.

Sure, they're from Nike, so at least 10 children died in their production, but my love of BTTF is so torn.... Want.

Getting Smart on Climate Change

This is an exciting time to be alive. While the challenges we face from climate change are enormous, so are the opportunities. Around the world communities are already feeling the impacts of climate change, from rising sea levels and coastal erosion in the Pacific Islands, to longer and more intense droughts across many parts of Africa.

Of the rich developed nations, Australia has paid a higher price than most with, with impacts including our 13-year drought and the unprecedented bushfires of 2009. According to climate modelling, we are one of the most at-risk nations from future climate change impacts.

With inaction, or delayed action on climate change, we risk losing major tourist and environmental assets like the Great Barrier Reef; new health impacts, rising food and energy prices and negative impacts on wages, property and our economy. Despite this, the Australian Government has dragged its feet when it comes to serious action. Some people argue that Australia shouldn’t act before other countries do, but we are already lagging behind many others countries – and could easily miss the economic opportunities that come from the development of new clean energy technologies.

Many other countries are already taking steps to tackle climate change – including many poor developing countries. They are investing in renewable energy technologies, committing to increase energy efficiency and setting ambitious targets to grow their clean energy sectors. While some argue that it’s too expensive to tackle climate change, it’s the cost of inaction we really can’t afford. Acting on climate change? Now that’s the smart thing to do.

Check out Oxfam's guide to Getting Smart on Climate Change

Oxfam Unwrapped’s Next Top Animal

Oxfam Unwrapped’s Next Top Animal is the newest reality series that follows a group of ambitious animals as they try to prove they have what it takes to make it in the high-stakes world of Oxfam Unwrapped, an ingenious gift catalogue that helps fight poverty around the world.

We’ve scoured farms all across the countryside, interviewing thousands of hopefuls, to narrow the field to just seven contestants.

During the series, these finalists are transformed from regular animals-next-door into potential Oxfam Unwrapped models, while navigating their way through a testing photo shoot (and not to mention, some backyard rivalry). The animals must demonstrate both inner and outer beauty as they learn to master fashion shoots, styling, props and personality!

Each week you’ll have the chance to vote for your favourite animal, narrowing the field until Oxfam Unwrapped’s Next Top Animal is crowned!

Aside from the photo shoot, our finalists also have to deal with the ups and downs of ‘animal house’ life: all the bleats, baas, tantrums and high drama you’d expect when you put a group of competitive and hugely ambitious animals under one roof!

The winner of Oxfam Unwrapped’s Next Top Animal takes home a prize package that includes lucrative contracts for future Unwrapped work, a stunning new paddock situated at Australia’s most fashionable rural address, and the satisfaction of a job well done.

EPIC WANT

WANT
1 - It's a 1:18 scale replica of the Back to the Future (Part II) DeLorean.
2 - It's a 500Gb external hard drive
3 - It's AWESOME.

(4 - It would go so well next to my TARDIS USB Hub)

via David Paris

Social media presentation slides from Making Links

Social media campaigning - Making Links conference 2010

Making Links 10

So, I'm at the Making Links conference in Perth this week. Yesterday I gave a presentation on the research I've conducted in the process of developing Oxfam's digital campaigns strategy (now in the final stages of sign-off), and tomorrow I'm on a panel talking about the opportunities for NGOs who embrace social media.

Rather than go into any indepth analysis of the presentations so far, I thought I'd just link to some of the interesting things that have been brought up so far (and add to the list as more pop up).

• The Public Sphere Project - Liberating Voices! A Pattern Language for Communication Revolution
• Build The Wheel - A community driven repository for workshop materials and resources
• CuriousWorks Toolkit - resource library for media makers
• Global Action Project - teaching self-sufficient media making
• Tactical Technology Collective
• Beehive Collective - combining activism with art
• Products of Slavery - check that the products you use are ethical
• My Peer Toolkit - enables agencies to undertake peer-based campaigns
• The Australian Centre for Social Innovation - helping innovation do good in the world
• Refugee Buddy - linking up ppl to help newly arrived refugees

The Greens are here to stay

Interesting article from Bernard Keane in today's Crikey:

The Greens, on the other hand, sit well outside the world of small government, efficient markets, privatisation and fiscal self-flagellation. Their agenda is mocked in the media as a distraction from "the real issues", but they offer voters the sense that politics is about more than managerial competence and endless economic reform that delivers prosperity and yet not, apparently, greater contentment.

They offer a combination of rigorous economic rationalism -- their positions on a carbon price and mining tax are economically superior to those of the major parties -- with trips down to the fairies at the bottom of the garden. But more than that they offer an activist, interventionist, leadership role for government, in contrast to the peculiar standoffishness of the major parties, who combine an eagerness to respond to voters' demands that they Do Something across a range of issues with an unwillingness to do anything unmarket-like, which has created an array of clunky hybrid sectors in the Australian economy where apparent private sector activity masks a risky reliance on government.

Awesome disguise is awesome

An elderly gentleman boards an Air Canada flight from Hong Kong to Vancouver, and yet when passengers disembark, the old man is nowhere to be found. Instead, a young Asian man tells border security officers that he wants to claim refugee protection.

Best technique ever - it's only going to be a matter of weeks until prosthetic masks are selling for $50 a pop on the streets of Indonesia.

via BB

How should journalists report on climate change?

Has the scientific consensus about the increasing scale and pace of climate change rendered traditional journalistic concepts of fairness and balance obsolete?

Recently, the Australian Centre for Independent Journalism looked into this problem at their George Munster Award Forum. Every year in conjunction with the George Munster Award for Journalism, a panel of Australia's top journalists and journalism academics take a look at their profession and how their work does or doesn't serve the public interest.

Kim Carr, Federal Minister for Science, recently gave a speech in which he had this to say about climate change sceptics:

We don't have to accord superstition and wishful thinking with the same status as science. This is much more than fairness requires and much more than reason permits.

In this talk on how journalists should report on climate science, the panel are also joined by Professor Ann Henderson-Sellers, Australian Research Council Professorial Fellow in the Department of Environment & Geography at Macquarie University and former Director of the World Climate Research Programme.

You can listen to the talk on ABC Radio National's Big Ideas' website.

First published on Oxfam Blogs

Office physics

This pleases me.

via xkcd

How to run a Hipster cafe

The rise of the hipster cafe has demanded some new rules be taught. These tiny, ironic food outlets are permeating the Northern suburbs of Melbourne, increasing the likelihood of me getting a quick coffee (win) whilst also destroying the art of Saturday morning food (fail).

So listen up you wispy moustache wearing, fedora sporting dicks, and maybe you'll understand why you keep losing daddy's money in your hospitality ventures.

Music
Your music choices should set the mood of your venue. Ironic music is not a mood setter. It is not funny or ironic to play 80s love ballads - no-one except my friend Steve wants to hear that, and he's got problems.

Salt and pepper
I don't care how refined your palette is - don't season a dish that doesn't explicitly state it on the menu.
Salt and pepper squid - fine, open sandwich - not.
Also, buy pepper grinders, not shakers. Buy sea salt, not iodised table salt. And it may be homely and European to have salt in finger bowls, but actually it's just gross.

Coffee
Barista. There's a reason that word exists. It means the person making the coffee actually knows what they're doing. An expensive coffee machine is all good, but if you have the water too hot, or the pressure too high, or the grounds too fine, or the angle of the glass wrong...
Also, find a fair-trade coffee supplier so at least you're not contributing to the world's problems.

Flies
Buy a fucking bugzapper.

Tea
Sure, most cafes are centred around coffee, but tea is an important aspect of British life, and we all know how awesome Britain is. Have a good range of teas - from English Breakfast to Darjeeling to Chai to Herbal. Throw out the Earl Grey - that shit is rank.
Provide proper looseleaf tea with sugar cubes and separate mini milk jugs.
Do. Not. Buy. Tetleys.

Furniture
Wow, what an original idea - using 1970s kitchen chairs in a cafe. Hey, I've got a better idea - use something that's actually comfortable and cost more than $5 at an op shop.
Milk crates are technically the property of the dairy that supplied them - if you attempt to make me sit on one, I will be calling the cops to report stolen property.

Space
Ensure you actually have enough of it.
Sure, you might be able 'squeeze in' a few more tables and chairs, but if that fat guy behind me pushes his chair into the small of my back one more time, I can't guarantee that I won't beat him to death with his own focaccia.
Important lesson for the day: a lane way does not an alfresco dining area make.

Decor
Reprints of 1960s Hawaiian beauties fall into the above cheapskate op shop category, however I'm prepared to allow some leeway in the decor of most hipster cafes. Just don't let your 'artistic' friends help and do NOT try to sell the artwork as well.

Food
Of course, this should be the heart of your shop, and it boils down to this simple rule: experiment all you want, but also provide the basics.
Some people like rocket - some like iceberg. Some people like smoked, spiced ham and Gorgonzola - some just want a BLT.
I might be happy to try your '5 cheese omelette with capers, rocket, Parmesan and chutney'. Or, I'd like you to fuck off back to the kitchen and make me three poached eggs on toast with a side of mushrooms.

Special needs
Cater for them.
All of them.
Vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, disabled, babies, elderly, etc.
And do it properly - having one vegan option on a menu full of chorizo is just being an arsehole.
Provide at least one baby seat - even the cheap plastic $10 one from Ikea is ok. Or be prepared for every mother to drag her giant, off-road, three-wheeled baby-carrying monstrosity inside, getting in the way of the rest of us.

Payment
Welcome to the 21st century! Now buy a fucking eftpos machine.
The only people carrying cash these days are mafia and old people, and I'm pretty sure they're not your clientele.

Smoking
Sure, the law allows people to smoke outside, even with recent changes to the legislation in relation to food-serving venues. But here's a equation for you: cigarettes+food=gross.
Don't provide ashtrays and maybe I won't have to nut the insensitive bastard blowing smoke over my breakfast, bringing the cops down to your non-health-inspector-regulation establishment.

Cutlery
No, your tourist attraction collectible spoons are not cute - they are irritating and covered with the filth of several generations.
Go buy matching sets. If in doubt, Ikea it.

Reading material
Newspapers - provide them. More than one copy. Herald Sun = bad. The Australian = bad. The Age = tolerable. Green Left Weekly = not a newspaper.
Magazines - if the sticker price is over $10, go for it. That's Life = bad. New Internationalist = good.
YOU OR YOUR FRIEND'S ZINES ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE.

Focus
You run a cafe. That's it.
No one needs to know about your ideas for an independent music festival, an avant-garde film festival or poetry slam. This includes advertising them with shitty photocopied posters, attempting to scout out free help from your customers or holding organising collective meetings while you should be making coffee.

Cleaning
Do it.
Daily.
Not with herbs, and not with bleach. Find a middle-ground that kills germs but not my nasal passages.

Interwebs
Provide them.
For free. And actually for free - don't make people ask you for the password on a half hour basis.
Provide at least three spots where people can plug their laptops in to get some juice.
Don't be afraid to ask moochers to buy a minimum of one coffee for each hour they sit there, but also don't get annoyed when your fellow hipsters plonk themselves down for five hours as they agonise over the first page of their independent screenplay.

And there you have it - follow my simple rules and maybe your Northcote/Brunswick/Thornbury/Coburg shop will last longer than the average 3 weeks. At the very least you might avoid the torch-bearing angry mobs I'm currently mobilizing against you.

Now, go get my long machiatto with one sugar, three poached eggs with buttered sourdough toast sitting NEXT to it (not underneath, soaking up all the gross egg water), hollandaise sauce in a separate mini jug, sautéed mushrooms, sliced avocado and a freshly squeezed orange juice.
Good hipster.

The hipster wars of 2010

Fantastic piece from Brigid Delaney in today's Age on the culture wars of the hipster world:

I suspect the proliferation of hipsters in our inner cities has a deadening effect on culture rather than an invigorating one. It's not the clothes or the obscure music but the irony that smothers things. There's something wrong when the ultimate accolade is "that's cool".

Although I've got to say, it's a bit weird seeing hipsters critiqued in major media outlets. Like, get with the times - they've been here for years and you're only NOW covering the phenomena?

Go Bob!

Great quote from Bob Brown on the rise of the Greens:

"We have shown we're not the Democrats. We have broken into the House of Representatives. We have the highest share of the vote for any minor party since World War II. We aren't there to keep the bastards honest [the famous slogan of the now-defunct Democrats]. We're there to replace the bastards."

There's an app for that

Based on this genius, Apple should fire their advertising agency and just hire the Children's Television Network.

Jon Stewart's speech at the Rally to Restore Sanity

I do love this man.

How a Robin Hood Tax would work

Our friends at the Robin Hood Tax campaign have posted an interesting talk from Professor Joseph Stiglitz on how and why the financial transaction tax would work.

Professor Stiglitz is an American economist and a professor at Columbia University. He is a recipient of the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences (2001) and the former Senior Vice President and Chief Economist of the World Bank. Stiglitz is one of the most frequently cited economists in the world.

Stiglitz spoke of how the financial sector has grown over-bloated, that to the detriment of us all it has confused ends with means. That both implicitly and explicitly the taxpayer has bailed the sector out repeatedly and we have now found ourselves in a situation where the sector has been allowed to socialise lost and privatise gain.

The discussion continued onto the different types of bank taxes and why he favours a financial transaction tax. Stiglitz argues pursuing this method of taxation at such a small rate has the potential to raise the most money in a sustainable way through the sheer volume of money traded. It is a principle of economics that small taxes can be easily absorbed, and at such a small rate the incentive to try and avoid the tax is greatly reduced. Such a tax would also improve efficeny and reduce distortion.

“A lot of short-term flows are destabilizing, we see this time and again,” Prof. Stiglitz said. “A well designed financial transactions tax can discourage this kind of activity.” Investors still will chase fast-growing economies. A tax on transactions would favour longer-term investment, however, because hot money would be forced to pay on the way and the way out".

Stiglitz's message was clear: the financial sector needs regulated and taxed or another crash is inevitable. With France, a country supportive of FTTs taking presidency of the EU in November the fight continues.

First published on Oxfam Blogs

WANT

I need several of these bags in which to do my shopping.

via Daily What

Mormon 101

This animation explaining the teachings of the Mormon Church is a bit of awesome.

Stick with it, at least until they start explaining why black people are black. Oooohhh dear.

Thanks, Korshi

Greyscale costumes

Best Halloween costumes ever - these three cool cats went to a party dressed entirely as ye olde world greyscale characters.

From BB's Halloween costume thread.